Confessions of a Showgirl

Home sweet home...

2010-06-15T09:58:00.002+02:00

Back from Vegas! Had a wonderful time there. I do so love the BHoF! This year was eventful in many ways.

Unfortunately I got a massive cold on the plane over, so I was completely dull and din't get drunk and dance at night or anything. Fortunately Lola and Ingrid were more than happy to do it enough for everybody :-)

Lots and lots of talented performers this year! Zorro on Thursday night blew me away! Among others.

Friday night is always my favourite and I loved Indigo's Ricki Cortez tribute, Julie AM was fucking amazing, as was Tigger! (oh my god that man i a genius!!!), and Dirty and, well, everybody, and that's just the modern day performers! The oldies were there too, and that's the best part of the weekend. A couple of shockers though: Angel declared she's moving to Australia and won't be there next year! Tears! And then, Miss Storm fell and broke her hip and it was horrible! So, weird mood all around after that. Nobody knew if she was going to be okay or not.

Saturday. Ms Tickle, who we saw at the NYBF won the debut category. Well deserved! Amazing act. We competed against (with is a better word, I don't like to think of it that way) Sweet Soul Burlesque, wonderful Screaming Chicken Theatrical Society and the lovely Chicago Starlets (who brought home the trophy). Boylesque: Monkey, I love him, and he won! Mad pogo stick man who terrified everyone but was hilarious, and Mr Burlesque from Australia. Unfortunately I didn't see the variety section since we were getting dressed. MEW section was just too many talented ladies! Lord! Not entirely unexpectedly Roxi Delight took the gold. I loved: Trixie's incredible deer cake valkyrie!!! Lux, because she's such an amazing dancer. Nasty Canasta because it was ingenious. Everyone was brilliant though.

Monday night: Jolie, my former student, got married, and I got to walk her down the aisle! Such an honour! I got teary eyed. It was lovely.

Stayed on another week, which was too darn much. At Luxor, too, which was a mistake. Came home, rented Up In the Air. George Clooney says "Luxor is a shithole, no one stays there". Wish I'd seen it before we left :-p

Fun times though, but glad to be home! = water, air, not-puke-coloured house

Wednesday

2010-01-20T22:30:00.002+01:00

Today was a completely great day, and then a completely aggravating day, and now I'm mixed up.

The dog got a shower and then he got blow-dried and was like a little furry cloud who didn't quite know whether or not to trust us.

We went to the movies and saw Have You Heard About the Morgans? which was a little funny and a lot predictable. But it was nice all the same, to go to the movies. It was at Saga wich is old and grand and lovely.

The aggravating stuff was all on a personal level, but it is hard to let go. I'm not very good at being calm and open and letting things go, but I should practice. It doesn't benefit me to hold on to grudges like I do...

Anyways, this clip that Jo Boobs tweeted made things a little better. Things happen after 1:44. Can't embed it, sorry, see it here.

Okay, I'm going to try and let go of some anger now...

D

Latin inspiration...

2010-01-19T17:52:00.002+01:00

Wonderful and cheesy, and I love it!

I've been reading all these wonderful snippets about people at the Key West Burlesque Festival, and I wish I could have been there... Sounds amazing. Maybe next year...

XoXoX
D

This is blowing my mind...

2010-01-19T01:23:00.001+01:00

Finally, finally, finally!!!!!!

http://www.stockholmburlesquefestival.com

We're putting it together! It's happening! It's going to be awesome!

Divine scents, and that lovely gypsy rose...

2010-01-17T19:24:00.002+01:00

This weekend I found two new heavenly body lotions, and I just couldn't help myself - I had to get them. One was Björk & Berries Wild Strawberry, ooooh my goodness... The other one was ACO Golden Delicious Vanilla Apple, just heavenly. Of course I'm mad about my Pacifica Hawaiian Ruby Guava, as well, so I'll just have to take turns using them.

Friday was my birthday, which I spent with a few close friends, some bubbly and some afternoon tea, which is just the way I like it. Eight of my gifts were different flavours of tea (which means my friends know me very well) and I also got some lovely champagne bowls, some lowely champagne, a sequin dress and pearls, among othe things. Terrific evening alla round, in other words.

Saturday our lovely seamstress Lisa Jacobsson came over to plan our wedding dresses, and mine is going to be divine, a purple ostrich fringe and chiffon dream. I'm very excited. Stuie also brought C over and we watched the Incredible Mr. Fox by Wes Anderson, which was fantastic, and then the Men Who Stare at Goats, which was also great. Before that dinner with my mother and sisters, and I got another gift, a lovely, wispy potted palm tree.

Mrs. Dubois is going on a trip early this week, and she'll be away for more than two weeks, which is making me a little worried... But I suppose we'll be alright. Although I'm certainly not looking forward to it.

A spot of inspiration:
Gypsy being witty - oh, how I admire people with wit!

More inspiration, as mentioned before:

More here.

Au revoir!
D

Lazy lady is here again...

2010-01-13T14:45:00.002+01:00

I've been a slowmo, admittedly... Recently Twitter has caught my attention because it's a quick-fix, but it's not overly informative, I guess. And who turned me on to it? None other than magical and lovely World Famous BOB, via furry Movie Star...

Recently I've been blown away by:
Karl lagerfeldts images of fucking amazing burlesque goddess Dirty Martini.
A million new ideas of what to do in the future.
How much I love my wife.
That you can find any and everything on the internet.
Pepper Potemkin.

Now, the dog snores on his blanket, the world outside is a snowglobe, and I'm about to finish the translation of my latest frustratingly boring book.

But first, a cup of tea!

XoXoX
D

Göteborg tomorrow

2009-10-23T13:46:00.002+02:00

Getting ready for more Mustasch down south. Packing (miniature packing to fit in the car), burning CD:s, making set-lists, getting glitter spray, slimming the make-up case, etc. etc.

It'll be the same show as last Saturday, except Baby is doing a solo instead of Contessa, so quick changes, but fun. Hoping it'll work out as well as it did in Stockholm.

Kept dreaming we (a bunch of Kittens) were shoplifting fur coats all night, maybe because I can't decide which coat to bring tomorrow. Should it be the ozelot? The white "mink" or the brown mink? It's all Lana Turner's fault for having all those coats in Ziegfeld Girl... I know they're making her miserable but they look soooo goood...

The Girl With the Million Dollar Legs...

2009-10-22T23:18:00.003+02:00

Ah, the life of a showgirl... And the inspiration for my Christmas routine dress! Yummy!

Preparations...

2009-10-19T15:28:00.002+02:00

for the new Burlesque Basics course at Burleskakademien starting today!

I'm super excited about meeting these seven brand new stars-to-be. Some of them I've met before at workshops and clubs, some of them are new to me. Either way, it's exciting.

Reverend Duchess getting ready for the tent...

This is what showgirls do...

2009-10-19T00:32:00.001+02:00

...when you let them babysit your dog.

Shucks!

2009-10-19T00:28:00.002+02:00

Bugger. My telly malfunctioned (froze) and I missed the entire ending of Rebus!

Mustasch Annexet, October 17, show

2009-10-18T23:54:00.003+02:00

We started off with Rosado without any introduction, which was nice, because the song in itself is so... Good! The drums at the start - I just love it, it makes me all excited. It worked well, despite the stage being quite shallow.

Magduschka had her work cut out for her with the initial introduction, since Pepper had a direct change AND her shimmy belt decided to dig its heels in and prolong the change. It worked out fine, but Madame M was not loving it...

As soon as she got her costume on properly, Pepper did her fast paced Switchblade routine while some of us got changed for Minnie.

Minnie the Moocher also went well, and Georgettes fancy moustasche-pasties were much appreciated.

Contessa brought our whiny glitter girl in under gun-point and after making her pick up our things she proceeded to perform her Mambo Italiano while the rest of us changed for Pussies.

Miss D made her solo debut as a Kitten with her Cellblock routine, much to the audiences delight! Marvellous! She's a real diamond, that's for sure.

We finished the set with our awardwinning Pussies on Parade routine, and got roaring ovations.

You'll find some showphotos here.

Back to the dressingroom, sorting out the costumes with two most unfortunate MIA's - one heartshaped tassel and one entire bra which is a tragic loss. Still hoping they'll resurface.

I walked the stage area with a tech guy after Mustasch played their set and he helped me search with a flashlight. We found nothing but he assured me that if the things were still there they would be found as the stage was dismantled.

"Great", says clever me. "Well, it's a red and pink bra with satin bows and rhinestones, and..."
"I'm pretty sure we'd suspect anything of that general description to be yours."
Ah. Yes. Well, you never know what those metal blokes might be donning underneath. Right?

Anyways, after packing up, we headed over to Clarion Hotel for the afterparty, had some drinks, danced a bit, behaved silly. I found a pair of 3D-glasses on the floor which really made my evening (although obviously not in a 3D-capacity, but rather in being fun glasses). They played soul and then they played lots of rock so we sang a lot too and played air guitar.

Manager H left early, but Martin, our most dedicated live photographer who had been shooting us in the dressingroom and on stage, came to Clarion and had some drinks with us. We love him, he's Kitten family.

The guys in the band (or bands rather) we're super nice and seemed pleased with our show, and we're all looking forward to Gothenburg next Saturday.

XoXoX
D

Mustasch Annexet, October 17, pre-show

2009-10-18T23:21:00.005+02:00

General nail polish application after soundcheck, waiting for dinner-time.

Some Chilean Chardonnay for the ladies. No complaints there. Everyone (except Baby) was starving, and had some instead of a starter. Me, Lola and Manager H stand by the dressing room door having a look at the evenings schedule.

Heading off for dinner across an afternoon deserted venue.

Pepper is hungry and happy. Ericsson Globe Arena is ugly. We're seated at a table that has room for all ten of us, nicely enough, and we're the first ones there so we snag it. Pannbiff and svampsås with potatoes and salad. We manage to be quiet for a solid fifteen minutes or so, because we're all starving and busy stuffing ourselves.

But as soon as we were fed properly we got loud and giggly again. Miss D's wearing an outdated tee shirt, but it is good looking. As soon as we were done we went back to the dressingroom.

It was wigs all around. Lola was a red-head, Ingrid went white-blond, I went for the Marilyn-straw-blond, and Georgette wore her nice 60's bob in her own hair colour.

Quick change behind drums and amps. Not much light but we've got that change-in-the-dark special showgirl fingerspitzgefühl. Lucky. A sneak preview of the audience from behind the drums...

Soundcheck was unsatisfactory. Holes in the floor, cables and bulky monitors. Everyone had a case of wobbly feet. But come showtime things were just right and the whole show felt really good!

The audience was really amazing and loud and we had a blast. Looking forward to doing it again in Gothenburg on Saturday Oct 24.

NYBF 2009

2009-10-14T20:38:00.011+02:00

Once again, we had a spectacular time at NYBF. We were on Friday night at the Bell House in Brooklyn, introduced by our beloved Scotty, and he did it in Swedish! Yay!

Scotty on stage, and Kittens getting changed in tiny corridor.

Getting ready for the stage.

We opened the second set. The crowd was awesome! And so were the sponsors, Jägermeister and PBR, or at least Lola and Miss D thought so...

Dixie & Minnie Tonka. Lola, Georgette & Indigo Blue.

We had the most fun week, and week-end, with lots of pancakes and omelettes, fucking amazing workshops at the NY School of Burlesque (run by hot tamale Jo Boobs) with BOB, Indigo and Lux La Croix, shopping and more shopping (me and Georgette brought home a total of seven new wigs...), and more omelettes and pancakes.

We stayed in a "hotel" that seemed to have inadvertently dropped the s between o and t, which looked a little nightmarish when we first arrived (oh, how I detest the shared bathroom!). But when all five Kittens turned up we got our hands on a dorm room with its own bath and things were hunky dory again.

First time for me uptown. We stayed at W 97th St (and Broadway) so I got to know a new neighbourhood, at least a little, because we still ended up spending most of our time further down. The Metro Diner was only two blocks away, so we had quite a few breakfasts there, and Texas Rotisserie, which didn't look like much to the world, was right on our corner and had the most delicious grilled chicken with tomato and cucumber salad, and avocado wrap. (Yes, I remember, and judge, my travels greatly by the culinary experience).

Nearby was also Alice's Tea Cup, where you could get delicious scones (coconut and banan flavour, for example) and a pot of tea for $10. And, most importantly, they had like a ten page tea menu! Heaven! I brought some of the house blend with me home.

More later, time to walk the dog...

XoXoX
D

World's lousiest/laziest(?) blogger...

2009-06-16T18:45:00.002+02:00

Yup, that's me!

Still so behind the times, trying to catch up since April. I'm realizing it's just futile to try and get everything on here, because no matter what, I will always lapse when I'm busy. So, brief update:

Just back from Vegas and the wonderful, magical, amazing Miss Exotic World/Burlesque Hall of Fame weekend - and this year we packed a trophy when we went back home! I'm sooo proud of our troupe! Yay!

All kinds of things went wrong that day. Litterally five minutes before going on stage Ingrid Ignition's zipper split on the dress. Un-fixable. We panicked. Baby, ever the resourceful seamstress, put the dress on her and did some sewing - it was stitched on when we went on stage. Everyone was SO nervous until she successfully ripped it off, and it looked like nothing.

Me, I couldn't get my bra open! I had to push it down on my tummy, and I did that so forcefull i tore it open in front. It slithered down and got stuck in my tail-piece, weighing it down.

But it worked out nicely anyway! We won the "Most Classic" award! So it wasn't the troupe award (won by ninjas - ???!?!!? okay...), but we'll get that another year. But we competed against everyone instead!

I'm so proud! SO proud.

And I'll pick this up later, got to run...

XoXoX

Kittenville Newcomers' Night 3 April

2009-05-04T17:25:00.008+02:00

Finally it was upon us, the moment we'd all been waiting for, me and my showgirl students. It was graduation time and it was on stage at Judy's. Fancy, Jolie, Francesca and Miss D had completed their routines, rehearsed in front of a discerning audience of one (Ingrid) the previous Sunday, and now they were ready to do it in front of an audience of both familiar and unfamiliar faces (I'm not sure which is most intimidating).

They all did great, and we had a fabulous Kittenville evening!

Jolie Étoile was the first newcomer to take the stage with her exotic routine to Summertime. She had an all-black costume with a gorgeous Spanish-style veil and stunning red star tassels (star=étoile, get it?). She was wonderful and I was so proud!

Jolie Étoile unveils her gorgeous self.

Crafty Lady Francesca was the second newcomer to take the stage. Not only was she an amazingly thorough French Maid with oodles of attitude, she also made her costume herself - including the gorgeous corset! And she does custom work too, so you should ask me for her number!

Lady Francesca cleans up her act, French Maid style.

Miss Fancy Lane was third to go on stage. She did a wonderful classic glamour routine and I am so extremely proud of her! She went through a journey in the classes and I'm so happy I got to be a part of that. A once shy lady now took the stage every inch a spotlight diva, full of sass and stage presence.

Fancy Lane does a glamour/burlesque version of Beautiful
- and she does it beautifully!

Miss Diamond was the last newcomer to take the stage with her stern, bossy secretary look, which she tears off to show everybody the glittering showgirl underneath. Very well executed indeed, to the sounds of Honey Rocks.

Miss Diamond shows everybody what she's made of...

They were so darn great, all four of them, and I was soooo proud of my girls! There was a lot of work in those routines, and I've decided to take it as a positive reflection on my teaching skills that four girls who have gone through the exact same classes have all come out so individual on the other end. Yay, ladies! Go, burlesque!

Happy debutantes receive cheers, applause and flowers.

The newcomers weren't the only debutantes - I did my first stint as a compere and ended up somewhere in the realm of 'don't quit your dayjob', but I was happy to do it, because those were my girls taking the stage for the very first time! Georgette had a new job too; glittergirling it to perfection. She is the funniest lady I know.

Georgette is the evening's hilarious glitter girl.
Isn't that blond wig just Gorgeous on her?

Ingrid Ignition and Pepper Potemkin took the stage after our debutantes to give the evening an air of experience. Ingrid's bride routine to Make Love to Me was very cute and gorgeous, and Pepper's One Mint Julep routine was brimful of sass and attitude - they were radiant and made us all proud!

Ingrid Ignition

Pepper Potemkin

The rest of the Kittens hung out backstage, got drunk, gave each other Easter gifts and made funny faces for the camera. As you can see, the burden of glamour is on us in the concrete dressing room...

Dixie & hubby Freddie the Heartbreaker

Pepper, Contessa, and her bazookas.

Ingrid & Georgette listening to sweet
music on Ingrid's top-modern CD walkman.

The mandatory raspberry pic.

Kisses and razzies, Ingrid, Lola, Georgette and I.

Just in case you were wondering
'smoking is fucking prohibited'

Next Kittenville is on Friday, May 29th at Judy's. We'll be doing a dress-rehearsal for our Vegas competition, among other things, so don't miss out!

XoXoX
Duchess

Dr Sketchy's Easter Bonanza 3 April

2009-05-04T13:40:00.008+02:00

Sketchy Mistresses Lola and I show off our springtime décor, ourselves and our audience. Hard work preceeds every Sketchy occassion - mostly on Lola's crafty part. I was designated DJ, but Lola did her part too - sisters in Sketchy-ness.

Miss Diamond

Miss Diamond poses in a saucy sacreligious tableaux! Amen to that!

Lady Francesca

Lady Francesca poses in her fancy, fabulous outfit!

Jolie Étoile

Last but not least of our first Sketchy-hour, Jolie Étoile in a hot hausfrau posing session.

On to the Easter theme - the Easter Bunny was there, so was the Chicken, and Jesus him/herself.

If you ever wondered about those stigmata - here's how it happened...

All in all a very successful Easter Bonanza, Lola and I had fun, the ladies were dazzling, and the crowd was as wonderful as only a Sketchy-crowd can be! Next time is Friday May 29th, also at Judy's, so don't miss out on that! See more Sketchy-stuff at www.drsketchy.se

XoXoX
Duchess

Final class for the first Showgirl Special gang

2009-05-04T13:02:00.004+02:00

March 22 was the last class for my very first batch of Showgirl Specialists - it was a sad occasion for me, it has been so much fun working with these ladies from the very first class last fall and now to see them go, ready for the stage. It has been quite a journey for all of us, and they will always be special to me since they were my first four ladies to finish all the classes.

Left to right: Jolie Étoile, Fancy Lane, Lady Francesca & Miss Diamond

Ingrid Ignition joined us so that the ladies could do their finale performance in front of an audience of at least one (me they're used to). It was also the final dress rehearsal before their very first performance on stage at Kittenville Newcomers' Night April 3.

They were splendid, and I'm incredibly, albeit perhaps unduly, proud - they have worked very hard and created terrific routines. Four very different ladies, four very different routines - but all of it amazing. Lucky me to have the most fun job ever!

XoXoX
Duchess

Kittens' night on the town 21 March

2009-05-04T12:34:00.008+02:00

We keep talking about it - going out, having a nice dinner and just not working for once. usually talk is all it ends up being, but this time we finally made it happen!

Georgette & Pepper on the tube.

First a lovely five-course dinner at Le Rouge in Gamla Stan with cocktails and entertainment - the meal was delicious!

We ate soooo much, and I think everyone managed to clean their plates, except Ingrid who ordered bouillabaise and got food for about five people - but lola and Dixie were only too happy to help her out, and I believe Baby had her fair share of seafood as well.

We had so much fun occasionally we had to remind ourselves we were in a public space, to watch our language and keep it down just a notch.

Their idea with dinner club performances was swell, but they could have done so much better in that departmen (like a bunch of Kittens, for example...). The decor was wonderful, and the food really was delicious, though, so we were happy.

After dinner we went on to HK club to see Miss Indigo Blue, that lovely lady from Seattle we've had the pleasure to meet in Vegas and New York. She's brilliant and we had the best 'seats' in the house, which cost us about 45 minutes of waiting in horrid techno music (why? what for? who likes it? what has it got to do with burlesque?!), it was painful, but well worth the effort when miss Blue took the stage.

She was fabulous as always, and even managed total glamour after slipping and falling pretty badly. The compere sprayed whipped cream on stage before her (clever?), and the person who 'cleaned it up' only rubbed it into the floor, so basically Indigo had a big butter stain center stage - not a good combo with high heels... But she managed even that!

Tara MiSioux did a pretty Sailor Moon routine too, since it was super hero theme night. On the whole, a lot of waiting and bad music for a few good routines, didn't feel worth the money, unfortunately, since they're the ones with the big budget who can actually afford getting foreign performers in.

Used to be a lot better... Never the less, Kitten night is always fun!

XoXoX
Duchess

Knicker practice

2009-03-17T00:59:00.003+01:00

Tonight we had a nice long meeting, debating clothing options for LV in June, and trying to settle on a bikini. We also decided to stay in two different hotels so it's like two vacations rolled into one! Hooray!

We did some dancing as well, though Baby didn't show up because of her cold. Me and Ingrid practiced Minnie with some assistance from Pepper, Lola and Mags, for our Barcelona gig in April. Contessa left early to catch a Salem al Fakir concert, and Dixie stayed for one round of Minnie before she left.

I also booked our tickets for Saturday's HK Club, which I think will be the first visit for all of us together since we left, and only my third visit since then! I'm excited. Most of the time we're working when their clubs are on, and now we're all going after our snazzy Kitten dinner.

Saw some really swell shoes at Mixage, fuchsia satin pumps - oh la la... I'll be saving up for them...

Turns out Pepper also applied for BHoF, so now there are officially three Kitten applications in - exciting! And Sugar Kane, lovely lady, is also going to Vegas, so no matter who gets to compete we're going to have a blast for sure.

Okay, zoning out here, in front of bad TV...

Good night.
D

The Twirly Girl

2009-03-15T20:32:00.002+01:00

The fabulous Miss Indigo Blue (coming to Stockholm next weekend by the way) sure puts her money where her mouth is!

Check out this lovely and extravagant twirl-buffet:

I'd better get to work on my twirling practice. Some day I shall master the one-boob-at-a-time-twirl!

XoXoX
D

Applications finally in!

2009-03-12T16:44:00.004+01:00

It takes more time than I think it will to fill in the Burlesque Hall of Fame applications - it's the same thing every year. But now I've sent in the Kitten-application, and I'm very nearly done with my own. I so hope that I will be allowed to perform. It would be great to do "Perhaps..." there, now that I've done it at the NYBF and on TV.

I must say I'm a little proud over the way I handled my skirt malfunction the other day. Out of all the times I've performed the routine, I've never once had trouble with the skirt. It opens with a bow to the side, and buttons. This time the bow got tangled and tied itself into an impossible knot, the kind you can't get up without ten minutes of scrutiny and fiddling aout with the ribbons. I had to look down - I hate it when I have to look down - and I was like "I can't believe it. I'm on TV and my fucking skirt won't open!"

Luckily the ribbons had extended far enough that I could pull the skirt down, which was not at all meant to happen, but no one seems to have noticed. Except Contessa and Georgette, of course. They were in the audience, sweating...

Anywho, my new website is up and running too, check it out at http://www.duchessdubois.com.

XoXoX
D

Sweden's got Talent....

2009-03-12T16:30:00.002+01:00

After three years of performing I've been on many different stages with many different audiences. Some superb, some awkward, some glamorous, some... "rustic", let's say. I've taken my clothes off in small Swedish towns and in Paris, London, New York and Las Vegas. But this was hands down the oddest thing I've done.

Not in terms of performing, although my fricking panel skirt fricking wouldn't fricking open - which has never happened before! But the whole thing was just sooo weird. And, I'm not supposed to talk about it.

Anyway, I was in the first run of performances for the Sweden's Got Talent 2009 TV show. Long ass day, I was the 27th of 30 performers to go on stage. The stage was great though, and all the TV peple were super nice and friendly.

But the judges... Goodness. Bert Karlsson - talk about pet peeve. Not so pet even. I really do not like that man. I don't know how to deal with being judged by him?! Sure, I want to advance in the competition, but do I want him to like me? It's like the antithesis of everything I am!

Interesting day, in terms of social anthropology, but a little scary all the same. Some people were clearly there because they were odd and would make "great TV" - did they know it? And it's really hard to remember who you are and what you think in interviews and introductions the way they go about it. I tried, but I really have no idea how I did.

That's all on that subject for now - there's no telling what will happen.

XoXoX
Duchess